Communicate, It's Now Or Never!
Communication. This can be one of the most difficult skills to master. Few of us ever do. And the important thing is to keep working at it. This post doesn't really relate to network marketing directly, but you can use some of what is in it to help you with your business. And more importantly, your life.
About a month ago, my Mom suffered a massive brain aneurysm. She was rushed to a local hospital, and quickly transferred to a much larger hospital with more specialized care in Boston. After arriving there, she then underwent emergency brain surgery (who knew there was such a thing?). After an agonizing 6+ hours, my sister and I found out she was "OK", meaning she was still alive. She has since then been in a Neuroscience Intensive Care Unit, where she has yet to regain consciousness.
Why Am I Telling You This?
Undoubtedly many parents and children have communication problems. Maybe it's a "generation gap". Or the parent's desire to have the child pursue a certain profession that the child has no interest in Or maybe it's just poor communication skills. Whatever the case, there is often a rift between parents and children. Or between siblings or other family members. Or between friends or some one else that we care about. We all have our own situations where things aren't said, or they're said badly. And that is really what this post is all about. It's about "seizing the day" so to speak and telling your loved ones what they mean to you.
I didn't take that opportunity with my Mom. I never told her as an adult how much she influenced me. How, despite everything that happened as a kid and young adult, she has a tremendous impact on who I am now and who I continue to become, and on the values that I hold. Well, that's not entirely true. I told her a week or so ago, as she lay unconscious in a hospital room in Boston. I don't know how much of it, if any, she heard. And I really don't know if I'll ever get the chance to tell her and have her know I'm telling her. And that's why I've shared this story with you..
The Challenge Of A Lifetime
Now I understand that we all have rifts in our relationships sometimes. After all, we're only human. But it's important to make sure that those rifts get closed as much as possible. Because once someone is gone, they're gone. There's no second chance to make sure that they knew how you really felt about them, how much you cared about them. It really is now or never. Because anything can happen at any time. And we can't ever get that opportunity to communicate back.
So go do it. Now. Pick up the phone. Drive across town. Do what ever you have to do to make sure that you're able to communicate what you feel with those people in your life that you care about. If you think it's not important, imagine NEVER being able to talk to that person again. EVER. Now go do it. It really is now or never.
When Do You Brighten A Room?
It's a strange question to ask, but it's one that needs to be asked. When do you brighten a room? Is it when you come into the room? Or is it when you leave a room? Honestly answering this question can make a huge difference in your network marketing business.
When You Leave
Let's start out with the downside, shall we? If you're someone who brightens a room when you leave (or at least knows someone who does) we should take a look at how you (or they) look. Having never met you, I can pretty much tell you the physical appearance you have. Your shoulders are slumped. You look down at the ground instead of up and at people. There's no "skip" in your step. You're not energetically attractive. People see you and they know something is wrong. They just might not be able to pinpoint exactly what it is. But one thing is for sure, it's all about what you're thinking about. You're probably thinking about how hard it is to build your business. Or maybe about how poorly you've done with your business and that you're not making any money with it yet. And that comes right through into your physical appearance.
When You Enter
So now for the upside. You are someone who brightens a room when they come into it. Again, without meeting you, I can tell you what your physical appearance is. You stand tall (no matter your height). Shoulders back, chest out. You look up and make terrific eye contact with everyone. You're happy and positive. There is a vibrancy to you that is contagious. People want to be around you. And it's because of what you're thinking.You're thinking thoughts of abundance. That there's enough to go around for everybody. It doesn't even matter if you're broke right now. You're thinking thoughts of prosperity and that is enough to create a dramatic change in the way that you appear to others.
How To Change
So the important thing is to change from someone who brightens a room when they leave it to someone who brightens a room when they enter. The easiest way to do this is to control what you're thinking about. If you're thinking thoughts of lack and limitation, that is what you will get. And that is also what you will energetically transmit to the world. And people can pick up on that. Even if they don't consciously know it. So instead of thinking about lack and limitation, think instead about abundance. Think about how there's plenty for everyone. Think about what you want, NOT what you don't want and NOT about what you have. Especially if you're currently having a hard time with your business. Think instead about being successful with your network marketing business. This will allow you to attract more people to you, people who will be interested in what you're doing. And this is all accomplished by changing what you're thinking about.
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Get The Results You Want
When you are working to reach a goal and get the results you want, your thoughts should come before anything else. But most people don't start with thoughts. And they never reach the goals they have set out for themselves. They just end up with the same old results. Here's why.
Thoughts Lead The Way
No matter who you are, your thoughts lead to feelings. Think of a time when someone cut you off while you were driving. Just thinking about it makes you relive those very feeling you felt when it happened. It doesn't matter if it was this morning or a year ago. So the thoughts you think lead you to the feelings you have. And in order to successfully accomplish any goal, you need to feel what it is going to be like to have achieved it before you start. If you can't feel it, you won't take the actions that you need to take to make it a reality.
The Way Most People Try To Get Results
Most people work in a very predicable way. They look at the results they have. Let's say they want to make $5,000 a month with their network marketing business. But they have $5.00 in their bank account. They start out looking at their results. They only have $5.00. This creates a feeling in them. Usually one of poverty and lack. Since this is what they feel, they then take actions based on those feelings. They don't believe their business will actually work, or that it's a scam, or no one will sign up with them. And so what are the results they get? The same ones they've gotten. They'll still have $5.00 in their bank account and no downline. Their process goes like this: RESULTS--->THOUGHTS--->FEELINGS--->ACTIONS--->(the same)RESULTS.
The Way Successful People The Results They Want
The people who achieve success operate in a different way. Instead of starting off with their current results, they start off with their thoughts. They don't think about what they have. Even if they've never experienced success before. They think about what they want. Again, let's say they want to make $5,000 a month in their network marketing business. They picture in their minds that they're already earning that $5,000 a month. What they would do with it. If it would let them or their spouse quit their job. And because of that, it creates the feeling in them of having that $5,000 a month. And that feeling is what will make them take the actions that will get them the results they're looking for. Namely making $5,000 a month in network marketing. And those actions generate the results they want! Their process goes like this: THOUGHTS--->FEELINGS--->ACTIONS--->RESULTS.
So which process do you want to use? RESULTS--->THOUGHTS--->FEELINGS--->ACTIONS--->(the same)RESULTS?
It should be obvious which to choose.
Who Controls You?
Are you in control of you? Or do you let other people and situations run your life? Answering this question is the first step to creating the life of your dreams.
Do Others Control You?
What do I mean by that? Are you someone who will allow other peoples emotions and reactions to influence and control your emotions and reactions? For example, if you are talking with someone and they're obviously having a bad day (or maybe a bad life), do you let their bad attitude rub off on you? When you walk away from the conversation, do you say "Wow, I'm glad I'm not them". Or do you instead start thinking about someone else who's wronged you recently or a situation that isn't going your way? Or maybe what your spouse did or didn't do this morning? Or that person that cut you off in traffic. If you're someone who controls their own emotions, you can leave a bad interaction and not bring it with you for the rest of the day, or an hour or even 5 minutes. Once it's done it's done.
However if you don't have control over your emotions, you'll carry around with you every bad interaction that you have that day. Or that week. This will end up with you repelling people from you, the exact opposite of what attraction marketing is about. You'll find yourself reacting negatively to everyone that you encounter, which will reinforce what you're already feeling. Eventually you'll quit network marketing and become another person who claims "network marketing doesn't work".
Time To Take Control
If you find yourself reacting to other peoples actions and words, you need to step up and take control of your life. The most important thing to remember is to not take anything personally. You don't know what the person your talking to is dealing with in their life. They could have just been just passed up for a promotion or their wife could have run off with the postman. You just never know. So you need to remember not to take what anyone says or does personally. Of course, that's easier said than done. It just takes some practice.
The next thing to do is to not get emotionally involved in what ever the other person is talking about. Getting emotionally involved makes your own emotions spin out of control. And once that happens, it can sometimes take hours or days to regain control. In that time, you never know what other interactions you may have that won't produce the results they could have if you were in control of your emotions.
Take Stock Of The Situation
Think about the interactions that you have daily. Is there a certain person or type of situation that really gets your emotions going? If so, why? What is it that happens that gets you "fired up"? Maybe it's something about politics or religion or social issues in the news. Or maybe someone saying "NO!" to your opportunity. You need to realize what types of situations or which people make your emotions flare. Then, if you can't avoid the situation or person, work to stay detached from what is going on. I'm not saying that you should avoid feeling emotions. They're important to know what's going on with you. But you should avoid taking on someone else's emotions. They won't serve you or do you any good. And by remaining in control of your own emotions, you can prevent yourself from missing out on other golden opportunities with people who aren't emotionally toxic.
Pay Or Play
So that title might be a little misleading. You can do both. But the big question is what do you want to do now and what do you want to do later? Because you can't do them both at once. You have to do one then the other.
Play Then Pay
This is the option that most people choose. Now you may be thinking "My friends and I work hard. We're not playing now." Well let's see what playing now entails. The people who are playing now have a routine that they follow. Yes they work all day. Well, maybe they show up 10 minutes late. Surf the web, check their facebook page, chat at the water cooler. Then when it's time to leave, or almost time, they get in their car and drive home. They eat dinner then spend 3 or 4 or 5 hours in front of the television.
When the weekend comes, they go out Friday night for a few drinks. Then maybe a round of golf on Saturday, and some work around the house or yard. Then Sunday mow the lawn if they didn't on Saturday afternoon. After that, It's time for football and a few beers. Then to bed to start the "grind" again for another week. These are the people who are playing. They aren't doing anything to improve their financial situation. They wouldn't think about building a network marketing business. There's too much to give up. They'd rather play now then pay now.
Pay Then Play
The people who are paying now also have a routine. It's just that it's a different one. They get to work on time or early. They know that if they do that, they can get their work done sooner. At lunch time, they call prospects before or after they eat. At 5 o'clock (or maybe 6) they get in their cars and like they do on the drive in, listen to personal development audios. Once home, they too eat dinner. But then instead of watching the electronic income reducer, they call some more prospects, write a blog post or update their facebook page. Or maybe they pick up a prospect or two and take them to an opportunity meeting. To end their day, they read from the network marketer's bible "Think And Grow Rich" or another similar book.
When the weekend rolls around, they tend to head to an all day event on Saturday. This gets them fired up and empowered for the upcoming week. Sunday might find them doing work around the house in the morning, but the afternoon is dedicated to videos and webinars to learn more about marketing and conversion. Finally they end their weekend on a conference call to get themselves started off right for next week. They know that if they pay now, they'll be able to play later. And later isn't when they're 65. It's in 2-3 years.
If you choose to play now, then you are going to have to pay later. You have to do both in life, it's just a matter of when you do which one. Paying later might mean that when you retire, you have to lower your quality of life. You might now have enough money to keep living the way that you've been used to while you work. Maybe you won't be able to retire at 65. You might have to wait until 70. Or you might not be able to retire at all. That's the reality that more and more people are facing nowadays.
If you decide to pay now though and build a network marketing business, your future could hold a lot more playing in it. You could retire in 3 to 5 years. Then you'll have plenty of time to play golf, go sailing or fishing or anything else you may want to do. And since you've built a residual income, you won't be running out of money like you might with your 401(k). You're life could be the one that you've dreamed about since you were little. Sitting on a beach in the tropics with a margarita. Or maybe sitting by the fire in a ski lodge after a long day on the slopes. Or really whatever you choose. But you have to decide. Are you going to play now or pay now? The choice is yours.
How To Boost Your Self Confidence
This post will share how you can boost your self confidence. By following these 3 easy steps you will be on your way to accomplishing more and reaching the successes you've always dreamed of.
Think Successful Thoughts
O.K. So this may sound silly or obvious even, but that doesn't make it less important or less true. If you think successful thoughts, you're going to automatically feel more self confident. And I mean real successful thoughts. Not something like "Oh, I guess I can do this." You have to think that you can do this, it is going to work out great and there is nothing that can keep you from succeeding. A thought like that doesn't have any room to allow negativity or self doubt to creep in. All it does is make you believe that you WILL succeed. And once you believe that you'll succeed, you're well on your way to succeeding!
Start with some small goals. Don't expect to become a millionaire in three months. Instead make a series of small but attainable goals for yourself. If you're just beginning with network marketing, set a goal to call 10 people a day for a week. Or better yet, set a goal to call one person! After you make that call, set a goal to call another person. And then repeat that until you've made your 10 calls. Setting a goals to call one person is less intimidating and seems easier and more achievable than calling 10 or 20 or 50. And really, you can only call 1 person at a time anyway. With each call you make, your self confidence will grow and you'll feel more and more comfortable on the phone.
You can then work to increase the size of your goals. But even as they get bigger, break them down into more manageable pieces. They'll be easier to accomplish and will help you to boost your self confidence more and more.
The way that you look plays an enormous part in how you feel. Have you ever had to dress up for an event? As soon as you have your "Sunday best" on, how do you feel? You feel great, don't you? I'm not saying that you have to wear your nicest clothes all the time. But if you dress neat and take care of how you look, you will find that your self confidence will start to grow. And the more you are able to dress nicely, the better you will feel about yourself. You will look successful and that will attract people to you. Because other people want to work with and do business with those who not only look successful, but have the confidence to prove they are.
There you have it. 3 easy steps to start boosting your self confidence today. All you have to do it to apply them and your self confidence will start to grow right away!
How To Spend Time With Prospects
How you spend your time with prospects will often dictate whether or not they get involved in your business. What do I mean by this? Let's take a look at how 2 different distributors interact and spend time with their prospects.
The Wrong Way
So some distributors, regardless of the network marketing company they're involved with spend too much time with new prospects. They just say too much. Let's say they have a new prospect named John. They give John a call. And instead of just finding out if John is open to making additional income, they chat with him on the phone. Maybe 20, 30 minutes, an hour or longer. They send John info for him to look at. They'll invite him out for lunch. They'll show flip charts and plans. And they don't even know if John's qualified yet. The distributor continues to "work on" John, spending an hours on the phone and in person with him. That distributor is then surprised when John decides that he's not interested. What happened?
Too Much Time On Your Hands
So what went wrong? That's right. The distributor spent TOO MUCH TIME with John. But wait. Isn't this a people business? Aren't we supposed to spend time with prospects? Yes and no. You're supposed to spend some time, but what happens when you spend a lot of time with a new prospect? Two things. The first is that the prospects thinks to himself "I can't do this. Look how much time he's spending with me, and I haven't even signed up. I just don't have that kind of spare time. This business is obviously not for me." The prospect is evaluating every action that you make. And they're deciding if they can do the same thing or not.
The second is that you're seen as not being busy. And people who aren't busy aren't successful. It doesn't matter if it's true or not. All that matters is how people perceive it. And people believe that if you're not busy, you must not be having success with your business. So how should you do it?
The Right Way
The way that you should be approaching your prospects is this. You call them up. You DON"T chat with them. You simply find out if they're open to making additional income. If they are then you create a "Break In Communication". Tell then you have to get on a conference call, etc. Then you send them a link to a video or a number to call for a recorded message. In other words, you introduce a TOOL. Something they can duplicate. If they watch a presentation, you can spend a little more time with them. Ask them "what did you like about what you saw? Sounds like you're ready to sign up." Then you send them some training. Then when they recruit some people, you give them a call to congratulate them.
They recruit a few more people. Fly to their city and help them build locally, if they want. Add them to your inner circle leadership email group. Get them involved in your mastermind calls. Give them public congratulations on what they're doing. In other words make them EARN YOUR TIME. Don't spend a lot of time on people who haven't earned it yet. After all, time is your most valuable asset, and you can't get any more. So don't give it away for free.
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How Successful People Think
When you meet someone who is in a network marketing business, you can usually tell right away if they're successful or not. The language that they use is an indication of how they think. And how they think will determine whether or not they're successful. This post will introduce you to how successful people think.
Success Thoughts Or Failure Thoughts
Why is it that some people can attend an event and get a huge boost out of it for their business, while others get nothing? It can be summed up in one simple phrase. You get what you look for. If you're looking for something to pump you up and help you to grow your business, that's exactly what you're going to find. But if you're looking for problems and difficulties, then you'll find those instead. And often, those same things will be found in the same place by two different people. If you think about success that's what you will eventually get. But if you think about failure, just as surely, you will fail.
Personal Development Will Help You Think The Way Successful People Think
John Maxwell said it best when he said "Change is inevitable. Growth is optional." Everybody changes. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? But not everybody grows. To grow you need to INTENTIONALLY change. You need to make an effort to change the way that you think, the way that you respond to the situations that life deals you. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to what happens to us.
Expectations + Actions = Results
If you pick up the phone to call a prospect, and you're expecting it to go badly, what's going to happen? Odds are, it's going to go badly! On the flip side, if you're expecting the call to go great, it probably will. Why? Our expectations. What we expect to happen influences the way that we act. If we're expecting bad results, we'll usually act in a way that generates bad results. We won't be smiling when we talk to our prospect. (Even over the phone you can tell if someone is smiling!) Or maybe we'll just sound tired, bored or desperate. These things will all end up creating bad results. But if we're making those calls with a smile on our faces and an enthusiastic, upbeat attitude, then our results will be nothing short of miraculous!
The next time you're making prospecting calls, do it with an attitude of positive expectation. Expect the very best to come out of the situation. You'll be surprised at your results if you have an authentic attitude of success when you talk to prospects!
Simple Disciplines Vs. Simple Errors In Judgement
This is a concept that I was introduced to by the late great Jim Rohn. Every day we are either practicing simple disciplines or we are committing simple errors in judgement. It's up to us to choose which path we take. After all they're both simple. It's just that one will get us where we want to go while the other will keep us where we are. Where would you rather be?
Have you ever heard the saying "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"? I'm sure you have. What if it were really that easy? Eat an apple every day and you stay healthy. Well it is that easy. Eating an apple every day helps you to stay healthy. How hard is it to eat an apple every day? Not very hard. You could even say that it's simple. You get an apple. You wash it. You eat it. But most of us don't eat an apple every day. Why not? Because it's simple to not eat an apple every day. And at the time it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. If we do something today or not, we usually don't notice the effect today. So we exercise a simple error in judgement instead of a simple discipline. And over time it compounds and it ends up costing us. Our health. Our well being. Sometimes our life. The same thing can happen in your network marketing business too.
Simple Errors In Judgement
In our network marketing businesses is it easy or hard to contact people and ask them if they're open to making additional income? It's easy. You just pick up the phone and call. Or maybe you ask someone you know that you bump into at a store. But why do most people not contact prospects and ask if they're open to making additional income? Because it's easy not to. In fact it's often easier not to contact them. There's no talking. There's no possibility of rejection. You can always say "I'll do it tomorrow" and then check you email for the 19th time. But where will that get you? Early retirement? Not likely. It'll keep you in your JOB for the next 35-45 years. Who wants that?
The Choice Is Yours
So the choice is all yours. It's entirely up to you which route you will pick. Will you live a life of simple disciplines? Of doing the easy things that will compound over time and make you successful and wealthy? Or will you choose to repeat simple errors in judgement? Deciding not to do the easy things and letting those decisions compound over time, leaving you wishing that you had chosen differently? Because it is entirely up to you. It's YOUR life. No one else is going to live it for you. And no one else is going to make those choices for you. The question is what do you want to say when you're 85 . . . "I'm glad I did" or "I wish I had"?
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The 3 Most Powerful Words In Personal Development
So what are the 3 most powerful words in personal development? Are they Money, Riches and Wealth? I don't think so. No, the 3 most powerful words in personal development are far more boring than that.
This is the first of the 3 words. Well, what does it mean? It means that your journey begins with being who you want to be. This isn't what happens at the end of the journey. You don't end up becoming, or being someone new because you've achieved success. No. You become successful because of who you've become. You've turned into the person who will accept nothing less than reaching your goals. Obstacles are of no consequence. Any difficulty simply falls out of your way. You are who you want to be and everything else falls into line.
If you're the person that you want to become, then how do you become that person? This might sound like some weird circular argument, but it's a good question. The answer is to act like the person that you are being. Do what they would do. If the person that you are being is a director, or ambassador or whatever rank in your company, then act like you already achieved that rank. This is the only way that you can truly BE anything. you have to act "as if". Act as if you were already the rank that you want to achieve in your network marketing business. If you can identify with being that person who does what needs to be done, then you.ll be able to do it.
So the third word is Have. This is the last step on the journey. To have is to reap the rewards of what you've gone through. Take all of your experience and convert it into money. Then use that money to do whatever you want to. This is the most powerful lesson in all. If you can Be who you want to become, you will start to DO what needs to be done in order to achieve success. And once you start doing, it is but a short step to having all that you could ever dream of!
So remember to BE, DO and HAVE when you're focusing on your personal development.